Food Frenzy

For my Foodie Friends:

Six notable (not potable) menu options!

1. It’s tomato juice. No, it’s apple juice. No. It’s hawthorne juice, one of the most popular juices in China. In a blind taste-test, the neighborhood’s Danish children believe it is strawberry juice. I believe it is the synthetic blood used in HBO’s True Blood series. Think warm and pulpy.

2. Or think cool and slippery. Watch it wiggle. See it jiggle! Ma Ayi, my Chinese Angel, prepared a new dish for dinner: LiangFen. This is cold mung bean jelly. WIkipedia reads, “Liangfen is generally white or off-white in color, translucent, and thick. It is usually made from mung beanstarch… The starch is boiled with water and the resulting sheets are then cut into thick strips.[9]

My first thought when served: Jellyfish is NOT vegetarian. As all real vegetarians will attest: Fish is not a vegetable…

Thus, when I asked if the dish was a vegetable, Ayi said no. When I asked if it was vegetarian, Ayi said yes. But what could it be?

After much hand gesturing and Ipad translating, Liangfen was the answer. Despite the identification, I could not swallow the jellied texture; I expect to see it appear on a reality TV episode in the very near future!

3. World’s most expensive breakfast cereal? Lucas’s all-time favorite! LUCKY CHARMS! With it costing $7 a (small) box; you are lucky if you can afford it. It is not THAT magically delicious.

4. Speaking of magic…What could it possibly be? The package has an illustration of the US, our flag, a marijuana leaf (?) and a long, knobby protuberance. The item was in the “health and fitness” aisle of the local grocery. Your guess is as good as mine! Strong like American bull!?

5. Cool and refreshing. Yep. That’s exactly what I think when I taste blueberry potato chips. And how about those seaweed Pringles? Natural ocean flavor! Mmhh.Ummm.

6. And this is a good one… Let me tell you what the package says: “I am getting hungry just thinking about it. Indiana Chief’s Super Thanksgiving Day Corn. Thanksgiving is a time when I tell you that I love you.”

Hey! I didn’t know Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day merged in Indiana! Do I have any readers out there that can confirm this? And I thought you gave chocolate, not corn croutons! Man. You leave the US for 4 weeks and look what happens….