Proof Positive

Having just returned from a trip to the US, I now know many of you have laughed at this blog and my antics in Beijing. I have also heard that it occasionally seems unbelievable! Imagine that!

In my defense and with the blessings of my fellow Beijinger, Kim Harrington, I am posting an email that Kim wrote from Beijing to me while I was visiting you last month. (And it was great seeing you, by the way!)

I feel certain that this blog will completely prove to you that I do not in any way, shape, or form exaggerate our Chinese mishaps.

Before reading Kim's email, take a look at this bit of info to help you navigate the weirdness:

Characters

• Kim Harrington: fellow Cincinnatian and Beijing neighbor who happens to be 8 months pregnant
• Wang Ayi: Kim’s housekeeper / house elf / munchkin
• Dragon Bay: our gated and guarded compound / neighborhood
• Jeff: Kim’s husband
• ChenChen: Kim’s husband’s secretary at P and G

Chinese Vocab

• Ayi: “auntie” or Beijing term for housekeeper
• Bao an: security guard
• Laowei: foreigner

Drum roll, please…………………And the email reads:

Hey Kimberly!

I hope things are going pleasantly in the US :)

I just had to e-mail to tell you a story that you have the unique perspective to truly appreciate...

Wang Ayi and a Dragon Bay security guard got in a fist fight the other day...

She came to the house Monday morning, and I was working from home sitting at the desk upstairs... Something was a little different about her entrance. I could tell that she was really out of breath, and she didn't banter with the dogs like usual. She runs up the stairs and tells me to come with her, and to put my coat on because it was cold outside... (This is when you start to question your second language abilities, because you hear the words, but they seem incongruent with the situation, so you're not sure...) In any event, I put my coat and shoes on and followed her out to the entrance gate (the one opposite the club house). I saw Wang Ayi's bike laying in the middle of the street, and her things were scattered everywhere. There were three guys standing around and a Dragon Bay security guard. She just takes off and runs over to the security guard and starts totally yelling at him, and he was totally yelling back at her! Every time he would respond, she would put her hands on her hips and spit somewhere near his shoes! It was crazy. I was just standing there thinking, "How am I here in this situation right now..." It just continued to escalate. She started pushing him, and then she dropped her cell phone. So, she picked up her phone, put it in her purse, put her purse down on the sidewalk, took her jacket off, and charged back at the guard. All-out brawl. He was reciprocating because he was really upset with her too.

This guy walked up to me and was like, "Is that your Ayi?", and I was like, "Ummmmm..... yeah....." So, the two of them continued to have-it-out in the entrance way... I was just hoping no one I knew was going to drive by. I specifically thought, "Well, Kimberly's in the US..." I was just seeing the headline, "Ayi and Bao An brawl in street fight as large, pregnant laowei looks on."

Wang Ayi had her hair in these two long braids going down her back (cute, but sort of like a hairstyle you haven't had since second grade), and I don't know about you, but I think the Dragon Bay security guard winter outfits look kind of like the guard outfits from the Wizard of Oz. Long coat with big furry hat (despite being red). So, it was an interesting site. These two braids flying everywhere attached to a little jumping, spitting munchkin, and the emerald city guard dishing it back at her. Anyway, this is what I was thinking when I was passively standing by...

I guess she uses that entrance everyday, and for some reason the guard told her to use the other entrance. So, he wouldn't let her in that way. I talked to her afterwards, and she seemed fine, and really not very distressed for having just been in a fist fight... but I did send an e-mail to Jeff to have ChenChen talk to her, because I thought there must be some details that I was missing about this. However, ChenChen reported back that it literally was only about coming in the entrance that morning... So, I'm still perplexed at the intensity of this confrontation for only that reason. It was good ChenChen called her though, because Wang Ayi was really happy after the phone call. I think she was happy to explain her side of the story, and that we had someone who really speaks Chinese check up on her to see that she was okay.

A Dragon Bay manager from the club house did reach agreement with the guard that she could use that entrance in the future. So, Wang Ayi said that he lets her in now, but turns away the other (clearly, less confrontational) Ayis... I guess she got the job done...

It was weird... Totally felt like I was in the middle of 'Cops: Beijing.' I probably could have enhanced the look by being the pregnant bystander with a brown bag covered Colt 45 and cigarette hanging out of my mouth...

Proof positive that Beijing is Bizarre!

With love and Laughter!

And many thanks to my correspondent, Kim, for sharing her adventures with us!

Kimbeijingerly