Back in Beijing

Making the Best of It

After a fabulous summer on Oak Island, Lucas and I have returned to Beijing.

To sum up our first week: if it could go wrong, it did. (Another blog coming soon.)

Yet as a happy, cheerful person [dammit], I will not focus on the negatives. Being a tai-tai (a lady who lunches) has its positives.

I can (I will) lead a rewarding, enriching, valuable life in China!

My existence here shall encompass more than shopping and fine dining. For example, I could have a massage!

Julie, my partner in tai-tai-crime, picked up a massage menu to welcome me “home.” Now if only I could choose which massage would best ease my return to ex-pat life.

A bit of self-assessment is in order. It's always ugly to look inward.

Perhaps my feet stink?

Or my kidneys are failing.

How about The Ovary?

I did drink quite a few mojitos this summer. A little rehab may be called for.

And my abs clearly need some work. I was thinking about sit-ups, but I’ve always been a fan of therapy. "So tell me about your last supper…"

This is just crazy. What kind of spa is this? What kind of friend is Julie? What kind of country is China!?

I tell myself: get a grip! Step-back! Step-back! Step back to where you once belonged. Oh crap, that’s get back.

Maybe I do need to take a Step Back. It only costs $15 or so.

I am clearly losing my mind.

Electric shock therapy may be required. No worries: that is also available for a mere $3. No prescription needed. I wonder what the FDA thinks about that?

I need to think about this… How about a think-tank? Nope. But there is a walk tank. Walk if off, baby! Walk it off!

Or have a cool, refreshing glass of…guasha?

And how about them moxibustion regimens?

(Lymph drainage is just so gross I cannot bear to contemplate it-- or wite about it.)

It all leaves you sort of speechless. As does tush the back with the oil.

FYI: 6 = $1

HK = Hong Kong?

With love and confusion (and a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor) from Beijing,

Kimbeijingerly

PS: After a bit of research, this is what I learned about Guasha (not related to guava by the way!)

Gua sha (Chinese: 刮痧; pinyin: guā shā), literally "to scrape away fever" in Chinese (more loosely, "to scrape away disease by allowing the disease to escape as sandy-looking objects through the skin"), is an ancient medical treatment.

Scrape me up!