Sunday, November 21, 2010

All I want for Christmas...

….is some normal toothpaste for my two front teeth--and minty fresh breath!

I ask you: doesn’t this look like mint? I thought so, but trust me: it is NOT!


Horticulturists!!!!! What is that plant?




Is it tobacco?

Is it Chinese marijuana?

It tastes like dirt!

It’s like…what do you call it? Chew? Spit? Chewing tobacco!

I could sell it in the US as an alternative to “the patch”!

HELP!

And this?


Why did I buy it? I’d like my teeth to sparkle like diamonds? True...

And how about that flower? Here’s a closeup:


Is it the blossom of the above plant? Is it a lotus, signifying purity and beauty? Was I so desperate to get rid of the dirt flavor that I purchased floral flavor?

I feel like I am gargling perfume

It’s so gross to even write, but I must admit: It’s like when people wear cologne on top of body odor!

Imagine: morning breath covered by a bouquet of flowers.

Now that’s what I call eau de toilette!

All I want is some NORMAL toothpaste!

Santa, I beg you.

Crest, Colgate, Aim…anything!

5 comments:

  1. Will you get the P&G holiday basket out there? It usually includes some toothpaste.

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  2. Just bought some gum that matches the ganja toothpaste. Dang!

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  3. I didn't want to say anything about it when I was at your house, but,
    TRUE DAT. That toothpaste is SICK.

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  4. Can I mail you some toothpaste? Seriously, I will. I hate bad toothpaste.

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  5. Hey, you've never asked me to, but I'm happy to run out and get you stuff like this when you need it. (Don't count on timely mailing, we both know I won't get it done without nagging LOL). What do you need besides toothpaste?

    ReplyDelete